Happy New Year 2011 - We Believe in Being Good

I am looking forward to a this New Year. The last two haven't been the best with all the changes that have happened to our family, but even as I say that, it doesn't feel right, because honestly, I really can't help but to see all the Blessings, growth, and the amazing experiences we have had inspite of all the heartache.  So many little miracles, I call them, have happened. Like having to buy a new tire and finding out that I have insurance on the tire so it will only cost $30! And being blessed with help to receive more new tires and car repairs! Being blessed to have help to save our family van even when the car company made an error. Being blessed with a good home and a wonderful landlord. Being blessed with work, and being able to work hard with Brady and to get everything he needed for his Mission, all on our own! That totaled over $4,300! There truly have been so many things that have happened that I wish I would have been better at writing them down, but every time something would happen, I would KNOW right away that it was a blessing, and that we were being looked after by a LOVING Heavenly Father. He has been there all along. I know he's always been in my life, but these past couple years specifically, I have really felt His presence and His loving arms around me, helping me, giving me strength and blessing my life in numerous ways. This journey literally began in January 2009 and I wrote a little about it here.  We have experienced a lot and we have been so Blessed!

I have learned so much and feel that I have grown in so many areas. I am pleased with my parenting and with my children, and am so proud of the people they are and the choices they make. We've have some major changes in our lives, but I feel like we have done really well. Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “He who has a WHY to live, can bear almost any HOW.” This past year, being a Mom to these AMAZING children that I call my FIVE JOYS, was magnified to me just how precious FAMILY is, and our relationships together, and how I am so GRATEFUL and BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE to have them in my life. And I truly realized that without a doubt, THEY are my “WHY to live.” And no matter what, with them as my WHY, I most definitely can bear any HOW.

I have learned a lot about myself and a lot about others. I have learned how to handle things better, not only outwardly, but inward. I have learned that I don't need to worry and have the approval of others, especially when they don't understand, or when they want to judge, because it really doesn't matter if I know that I'm doing what's right, and what my Heavenly Father desires, and what's keeping me close to Him, and the Holy Ghost as my constant companion. I have learned that there are things that I can't control in others and their behavior, so why worry about it.  What I wish to see change this year is the struggle I still have with Brad with his treatment of me. His lying, lack of kindness and respect, etc. I've learned from a friend who said "that this behavior is so very rarely anything but a reflection of the inner pain, confusion, loneliness, sin, etc., others are feeling. Or perhaps we mistakenly think that perhaps by lashing out, and causing someone ELSE pain, that it will lessen our own. And even then, isn’t THAT also just a cry for help? So when I do see “disappointing behavior” (what does that MEAN anyway? Hmm.), my first and literally immediate thought is, “I wonder what is going on in their life. I wonder why their heart is aching so much that the only way they feel they can find peace is by hurting someone else.”  When I think that I've done nothing to him or certain people who treat me with disappointing behavior, I just feel sad for them. I have learned that when I know better, I do better. I may make a mistake, but luckily I quickly recognize it, and learn from it, and do better. I hope and pray that this will be a Year of Peace with Brad, and within himself, so we won't experience the disappointing and damaging behavior that often comes from him still after all this time. I have reached out many times and have only expereinced a couple of nice moments with him. You just never know how he's going to be and what he's going to do.

2009 and 2010 will be remembered as the years of Miracles, Angels - literally in Friendships and others, who were there at the right time, and those unseen, but felt, as they were about me and my children - ALWAYS, Blessings, The Holy Ghost - Constant Companion - who has directed me with information that I needed to know, and has whispered Truth to me in realizing how things are and how they need to be. This has been most precious to me. I owe all this and everything to my Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ. I hope that I will spend more time in Prayer this year expressing my daily Gratitude. Gratitude is always on my mind.

Hopefully this new year will be a continuation of all the good things and the blessings the kids and I have enjoyed, and  continue spending time together building memories, experiencing Brady's Mission through him.  It will also be a year of working on my health so I can feel better. I was doing great in 2009, and then 2010, I couldn't get it together mentally regarding food. I want to really be better this year with what I eat, exercise, and being active with my children. I need to start school and get myself in a position over the next couple of years so I can be financially independent and not worry about child support and alimony. I want to get back to some of the things that I use to do as well...like Cooking. I know this will improve my health and weight loss and will be so much better for our family. It's been a real struggle this past year and a half cooking meals like I use to because I am pulled in so many directions. And I also want to work on these R's...

To make it a "Remarkable" 2011!

Also our Family's New Year's Motto is, "We Believe In Being Good." 

"Being" is more than how you act - it is Who You Are.

I am grateful for that inspiration, and without even knowing that the Youth Theme for the year is the 13th Article of Faith. So for this New Year, I would like us to focus on "Being Good and Doing Something Good Everyday."  "More important than our knowledge, our skills, or our education, is simply our goodness -- the quality of our hearts and our souls". This is something we can all do as a family, and even with Brady serving his Mission, because he will have opportunties everyday to do something good. It will be great to do this together and share our experiences with each other.

"Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should GIVE what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful give." - 2 Corinthians 9: 6-7

I look forward to our progress during the days and months ahead. This is going to be a great year!